Finding the Drive to Move Beyond Fear – Why I Hired a Coach to Teach Me How

Moving Beyond Fear – Why I Hired a Coach to Teach Me How

If you’ve taken a look at my site, you’ll notice that I talk a great deal about living your dreams and about making good choices and never turning back. In fact you could say that based on my average post, I have the drive to move beyond fear, bunker down and roll with the punches. {heck, I thought that too}. So what happened? Nothing. I finally came to realization that in order to have something I’ve never had, I’ve got to do something that I’ve never done!

I have the education, the experience and the determination. I have the support of friends, family and mentors. I even have my very own tailor-made cheerleading section (my children). So what was my problem? In a word, fear.

It’s wasn’t the kind of fear I used to wrestle with–the kind that stifles and overwhelms you with so much anxiety and hopelessness that you literally become paralyzed. This fear was different. It was the kind that concedes that you CAN do or accomplish the thing you desire while simultaneously saying it just wasn’t possible. Like saying, oh you can be a writer but what kind of writer are you if you’re not a best seller, if you’re not writing for the New Yorker? Or how about this one: sure you can be an encourager of mothers, women and men, but how effective are you if you’re not reaching mass groups of people? How effective do you even think you can be? You see my dilemma?  A new level of fear required a new level of weapon and for me, my weapon of choice was Marjorie Bostwick.

Not only was she warm, engaging and ridiculously resourceful and effective, her Visualization and Who Do You Think You Are Tools were mind-opening and truth revealing techniques helping me to put my desires, goals and fears in perspective. Notice, how I didn’t say she told me what to do? Or that she gave me advice on what to do? She helped ME find the answer that I’ve carried inside me all along. Using her Pre-paving tools  and Passion Tests helped me to be honest about my desires and fears, realize their underlying source and create a vision or path that will take me beyond them. So, are you cured? Did it work?

Ha! You’re so cute. The only cure to fear is doing what you desire in spite of it. Having the faith or the belief that you can do something without actually DOING the thing you want to do, is highly ineffective and destitute of power and life. Simply put, faith without works is dead. I wish I could tell you that fear doesn’t raise its ugly voice spewing venom in so many ways. I can’t. But I can say that thanks to Marjorie, I’m armed with the tools I need to silence that fear one step at a time.

Am I moving as fast as I’d like? No, but I’m MOVING! And because I’m moving, doors are opening and opportunities are presenting themselves. Coincidence? Not a chance.

I’m doing things I’ve never done to get the things I want to have. I am worth the investment and truth be told, so are you. Now, what do plan to do about the fear in your life?

Thanks for visiting.

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Nothing like the ‘C’ Word to Set Things Straight!

Ruh???

Did your Scooby Doo persona come alive too??

There’s a ‘C’ word that sets things striaight? Absolutely!!

I’m sure you realize by now that the ‘C’ word is NOT the 4-letter one that makes women’s blood boil but the 13-letter one that challenges you to stop taking the easy road: confrontation.

“Confront your neighbors directly, so you do not share in their guilt.” ~ Leviticus 19: 17

Confrontation was one of those things I steered clear from. I’d avoid it like the plague whenever possible. And when it wasn’t possible, I’d tip toe around the pink elephant in the room in hopes of keeping the peace. You know that old saying if it ain’t broke don’t fix it? Well, what I didn’t realize is that by adopting this “avoid it at all costs” mentality, I was actually helping to perpetuate the situation–helping to keep it alive. I was just as guilty–just as responsible–for the situation as the other person was.

When we see something that’s wrong and fail to–at the very least–voice our objections, we condone the very act that we despise. When we willfully allow others to use manipulative methods like guilt, self-pity or anger to control us, we’re doing more than “keeping the peace,” we’re sending the message it’s acceptable to mistreat, disrespect or use us at leisure. Now, I don’t know about you, but that’s NOT the message I want to send to anyone.

Confrontation is never easy. Having the courage to say “no more” or “I’m not going to let you treat me that way,” is a hard thing to do but the alternative is worse. Either we correct the problem or we condone it. The only person who can make the choice is you!

You don’t have to allow others to lord over you, bully you or pressure you into doing (or not doing) something. Whether they are controlling family members or unruly persons in authority over you, you have the right to confront the situation and refuse to allow others’ behaviors to continue to have power over you.

Thanks for visiting!

Selena

Fight the Fight…

I contend not with men and their rhetoric, but with self and its defiance to the greatness that is alive in me. I contend not with the debates of ideals, philosophies or idle banter of religious superiority, but with flesh and its insistence that I accept today as though it were the defining standard of tomorrow. I contend not with society’s woes or its flagrant hedonistic proclivities, but with the rampant portrayals of self-degradation, gender emasculation and the rejection of tolerance and love. I contend… daily… not against men of flesh and blood but against the ideology that good is enough, love is irrelevant and the hope of something profound is all but dead. I contend… daily… not against women of flesh and blood but against lies that seek to define me—restrict me—to ‘my place’ as a single woman, lover or friend. I contend, daily. It’s me vs. them—one of these will die and it ain’t gonna be me. ~ a Speak2It original

Every now and again, we as people–as a nation–as the orchestrators of this journey we call life need to be reminded of what we’re really fighting against. It’s so easy to point the finger at others and blame them for whatever our issue of the moment is. If only they’d stop coming to this country… or why don’t they just stop saying God in the pledge… Yes, it’s easy to lump those who grate on our nerves with those who offend and downright out frustrate us. We all too often lump transgressors and naysayers into a ’one size fits all’ category. However, this is where it becomes important to remember one thing: we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities. What does that mean?

It means the enemy we fight is often times an enemy we can not see. It means instead of looking to place blame on our bretheren–because we’re all in this thing together–we stop and take a moment to exam ourselves.  It means that instead of fighting fire with fire, we get out the extinguisher and kill the flame of dissension once and for all. It means our weapon is love.

Renew your mind and fight the fight against mediocrity, complacency, intolerance and indifference.

Thanks for visiting!