Fight the Fight…

I contend not with men and their rhetoric, but with self and its defiance to the greatness that is alive in me. I contend not with the debates of ideals, philosophies or idle banter of religious superiority, but with flesh and its insistence that I accept today as though it were the defining standard of tomorrow. I contend not with society’s woes or its flagrant hedonistic proclivities, but with the rampant portrayals of self-degradation, gender emasculation and the rejection of tolerance and love. I contend… daily… not against men of flesh and blood but against the ideology that good is enough, love is irrelevant and the hope of something profound is all but dead. I contend… daily… not against women of flesh and blood but against lies that seek to define me—restrict me—to ‘my place’ as a single woman, lover or friend. I contend, daily. It’s me vs. them—one of these will die and it ain’t gonna be me. ~ a Speak2It original

Every now and again, we as people–as a nation–as the orchestrators of this journey we call life need to be reminded of what we’re really fighting against. It’s so easy to point the finger at others and blame them for whatever our issue of the moment is. If only they’d stop coming to this country… or why don’t they just stop saying God in the pledge… Yes, it’s easy to lump those who grate on our nerves with those who offend and downright out frustrate us. We all too often lump transgressors and naysayers into a ’one size fits all’ category. However, this is where it becomes important to remember one thing: we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities. What does that mean?

It means the enemy we fight is often times an enemy we can not see. It means instead of looking to place blame on our bretheren–because we’re all in this thing together–we stop and take a moment to exam ourselves.  It means that instead of fighting fire with fire, we get out the extinguisher and kill the flame of dissension once and for all. It means our weapon is love.

Renew your mind and fight the fight against mediocrity, complacency, intolerance and indifference.

Thanks for visiting!

 

 

Confidence is BEAUTIFUL and So Are You!!

Confidence + You = Beauty

Confidence isn’t something that’s sold in a jar. It’s released–from within–as self-truths, discoveries and acceptances are embraced. Confidence changes how you walk into a room, how you speak and even how you think. It’s magnetic and boldly declares to those near and far: I KNOW my worth and my value; and regardless of what you think of me, I LOVE who I am. THAT is beauty at its finest.

Beauty starts with self-acceptance and self-acceptance breeds confidence. We all have flaws or cracks in our armor; but it doesn’t have to define how we think and feel about ourselves. Love yourself. Trust yourself. Forgive yourself. And most important honor yourself–you’re worth it.

Thanks for visiting!

 

 

Things My Children Taught Me About Love

 

Love Lessons Learned

Hello and welcome to the Cochran Insanity-Laugh-Til-It-Hurts hour with your host Selena Cochran and her wanna be trusty sidekicks Obi Malcolm Wan Kenobi and Princess Riah, illustrious ruler of Bratz Barbie kingdom.

In this segment, your Most Awesome Head Mommy of the Universe will discuss what her sidekicks taught her about love. And now, heeeeeeeeeeere’s Selena!

Ok, this is where someone ought to yell CUT!! Now, where were we? Ah yes, lessons about love.

Being a parent, I’ve had the splendiferous (yes, that’s a word) privilege of raising 2 of the biggest, most awesome pain in the tucus children this side of heaven. I’ve laughed til I’ve cried and cried til I couldn’t do anything else. But throughout this treasure of a journey, I’ve learned a few important lessons along the way. And now, God only knows why I’m passing this wisdom on to you so you’ll think twice about having kids pass these gems along to others you know. Here goes…

Lesson #1: It’s Gonna Cost You

Obi: can I play superhero with you?

Riah: sure but your Batman’s gotta wear this pink thing on his head, house rules.

For those of you who haven’t heard already, love COSTS something. Whether it’s swallowing your pride and offering an apology (even when you’re not at fault) or learning to place someone’s needs, wants and feelings above your own: loving someone isn’t easy. And more often than not it means you’ve got to give something up . As the saying goes, love maybe free but it sure ain’t cheap!

Lesson #2: Be Patient

Riah: can I borrow this pencil?

Obi: Sure. (3 seconds later) You done yet?

We all have those moments where we want our loved ones, spouses or even children to hurry up and “be” who we think they should be or “do” what we think they should do. We tend to forget that our special ones–just like everything else in life–can only grow or reach their optimal potential through life’s processes–not ours. Remember, no matter how much you water a plant it will only blossom when it’s time.

Lesson #3: Answer Softly

Obi: hey! You spit food on my shoe!!

Riah: (laughing hysterically) My bad!

Obi: yeah, I know it’s bad but what does have to do with me?!?

Riah: (shrugs shoulders) good question.

In too many instances, we trample on the feelings, thoughts and beliefs of loved ones. For many of us it’s habit; for others it’s intentional. Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum, casting aside other’s feelings serves one purpose: to glorify self. Love does not live on a pedestal. Love–real love–is the absence of self-preservation. It means showering others with the same courtesies and respect that you demand for yourself.

And so I leave you with these final thoughts….

“Love is patient and is kind. Love does not envy nor does it boast–it does not parade itself nor is it puffed up. Love does not behave rudely; it does not rejoice when another falls but it rejoices in truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. LOVE NEVER FAILS.”

Thanks for visiting,

Selena

 

My Name is Selena and I Have Man Envy…

Your Man Envy Is Showing

Good Day Blogger Friends and Family!

It’s been way too long since my last post and now that I’ve settled into my CRAZY schedule my posts will be a lot more regular…ahem, your honor I’d like that stricken from the record on the grounds that it might contaminate the jury.

Now onto the topic of the day.

I, phenomenal woman and scholar; splendid beauty and poet, magnificent handi-work of the Holy One, sure can brag on myself, can’t I? I, Selena, have Man Envy and apparently, it’s showing. Want to know what Man Envy is? Hmph. So would I. Well, keep on reading and when you find out, PLEASE let me know. So, here’s how it really went down…

Okay so Obi MalcolmWanKenobi’ s been going on and on about how he’s “becoming a man.” For the last few months actually and frankly I was really only left with one choice–I had to ignore him. I mean really. The boy’s only 12! How many boys become men at 12??? Exactly. Anyway, we’re on our way back from church and I leaned in to give him a hug and well, the rest is history…

 

Me: oh wow, honey are those hairs on your face?

 

Him: uh yeah. I told you I was becoming a man. See? You’re always neglecting me. What kind of mother are you?!

 

Me: the kind of mother that insists that you stop using her mascara brush to darken those fuzzy things you call hair! Uh hello! That stuff is expensive!

 

Him: you know what your problem is? You have Man Envy! That’s why you’re always hating on my man hairs.

 

Me: what?!?

 

Him: yeah I said it. You have Man Envy Mom. And it’s showing!!

 

So there it is in a nutshell. I have Man Envy and apparently it’s showing!! LOL!!

 

Love. For Real.

When we climb off that pedestal that we so often erect in our honor…

When we pause to consider the convictions of those around us even when they conflict with our own…

When we decline to hide the ugly truths in our hearts in hopes of maintaining a deified facade…

When we learn once and for all that no matter where we’re from, we can’t get to where we’re going alone…

When we insist that what hurts one of us, hurts us all…

When we finally accept that hate is not a race thing, but an unholy thing…

When we do these, we cease to objectify the very thing meant to save souls and invoke hope. We cease to settle for journeys riddled with the hustles and bustles of “doing” love; and instead, embark on the ultimate quest to love, for real.

Truth: love never grows cold. If it does, it was never love to begin with.

Thanks for visiting,

Selena

 

Sex, Babies and Stupid Lying Storks!

So, there’s no disclaimer with this entry, just good ‘ole fashioned “Momma’s telling everything” kind of fun!!

For new visitors, I have a 2 beautiful children. Adorable. Intelligent. And side-splittingly funny! Here’s the latest from one MalcolmWan Kenobi.

I can’t talk about it…

So, Malcolm and his aunt were talking about birthdays and why he wasn’t born on June 30th *giggles* like the doctors predicted. The following *amp giggles* is a true conversation. On my best day, I couldn’t come up with this stuff!

A little background to help you understand why I’m already laughing and I haven’t even finished the post. A few weeks ago, we had Open Mic night in our house and the topic of the night was da da dommm sex, babies and how the 2 topics are related. See, my children thought one had nothing to do with the other. Hahaha, yes that’s another post entirely! But just keep in mind that they learned about sex and how babies are born. Now onto the fun…

Mal: so you’re birthdays on the 30th huh? Did you know I was supposed to be born on the 30th?

Aunt:   No Malcolm I didn’t. she’s totally lying and trying to keep a straight face. Why don’t you tell me all about it?

Mal: well, there isn’t much to tell. I was happy where I was, comfortable even. yes, he actually said that.  So I decided to sleep in.

Aunt: You slept in??

Mal: oh yeah. I mean given the alternative, what else could I do? I mean yuck!

Aunt: laughing hysterically. What alternative?

Mal: you know, coming out….out of there…aunt feigns ignorance. you know there??

Aunt: still laughing. No Malcolm. I don’t know. What’s there mean?

Mal: red-faced and exasperated.  From THERE, Auntie!! You know what I mean!

Aunt: almost on the floor laughing.  No, honey, tell me!

Mal: crossed arms and stiff back. Auntie there are some things a man just shouldn’t talk about. Somethings are just to traumatic to relive. Don’t take me back there, Auntie. Don’t take me back. head is hung, shoulders dropped. aunt is doubled over laughing. Stupid, lying stork! Humph! marches out of the kitchen, arms folded across his chest and nose in the air.

Needless to say, I laughed for about 10 minutes.  The stork is a liar!! Hahaha, how awesome is that??? That’s what I call “classic Malcolm.”

Thanks for visiting,

Selena

 

The Weight

It seems my posts are not coming as frequently as I’d like. It’s certainly not for lack of material, topics or even momentum. I’m in an abundant supply of all those and more. In actualilty, I’ve never felt more alive, more full and more talkative. So, then what’s the cause of my sporadic silence? Read on…

For every call, purpose, promise and journey we accept in life, there is a weight and a cost to be paid. And if you’re like me, sometimes that weight bears you down so mightily that you find yourself at a loss for everything. You cease to move even though your limbs are in pristine working order. You seek out isolation even though you’re the go-to-gal in all that you do. You tremble and shiver even though it’s almost 90 degrees outdoors. Why? Because when the weight of what the Father is asking of you in this season becomes a reality, all you can think about is doing anything that might help distract or ease the force of its weight.

See, you realize–once and for all–that your life is not your own. Your hopes, dreams and especially your will, don’t belong to you. If indeed you are a people called by His name then words like me, my and mine cease to exist. Here’s how that really translates. When you feel like telling your boss, your instructor or your some other person in authority over you how you REALLY feel about their leadership style YOU DON’T. Instead, you repent, offer up sincere prayers on their behalf AND you assist them in whatever capacity is needed. You don’t complain, gossip about it to your friends (under the guise of praying for the individual) or grumble. You will smile, pray and endure because the weight of what God is calling you to in this season is too great to be put on hold for the foolish, petty things of the flesh.

That supervisor, pastor or CEO doesn’t need your neck rolling-hand-on-hip-having-attitude, he or she needs you to stand in the seat of righteousness–to be Christ’s mirror of unconditional love, patience, kindness, meekness, gentleness and self-control. They need the fruit of the spirit, not the fruit of your lips.

Harsh? A little bit in your face? Welcome to my world. Better still, welcome to the world of worshipping in spirit and in truth. People are dying for someone to love on them; aching for someone to act like they care; waiting for someone to take their position as the heirs of the Most High God. We are who they’re waiting for. People of God, it is time to arise!

Thanks for visiting,

Selena

 

Blissfully Grateful

In the midst of economic downturns, downsizes and downward spirals or paths of life, I’ve made up my mind to be blissfully grateful for the woman I’ve become, the qualities I possess and the faith that sustains me through it all.

To the untrained eye I look young–real young. Some say 20, 25 even 30. No one ever believes I’ll be 40 in a few years. But to those with a keen eye, look closely. There in the lines adorning the outskirts of my eyes–in the 3 strands of grey hairs that accent my crown–you’ll see me: fierce, supple and simple.

I’ve lived through many battles and sustained deep wounds. But thanks to the power of unfailing love and healing, I am renewed in the inner place beyond measure. I dream it and I do it. I speak it and I believe it. I run–not walk. Glide not stutter. I soar like eagles; majesty and beauty flow in and through me. I am endowed with the power to believe in the intangible, the impossible and the invisible.

It is this power that compels me to sing praises and whisper thanks not for what I’ve been through but for who I am as a result. I am blissfully grateful for life, the freedom to love and the power of faith.

What are you grateful for??

Thanks for visiting,

Selena

 

Got Dreams?

Dream jobs, spouses, weight loss, clothes, health, children, even money: we want it all.

We want all the biggest and the best life has to offer us. And why not? We work hard.

But what good is wanting these things–these fruits–if we’re not willing to embark on the journey required to get there?

The journey isn’t easy but wanting–hoping–for change without the courage to make it happen will yield only one thing: nothing.

Be true to yourself: regardless of what you want make the decision to take the necessary steps to ensure your hope and dreams become a reality.

You can have what you desire; you just have to be willing to go and get it. 

Thanks for visiting,

Selena

 

Batman vs. Bratz: A Saga is Born

Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away–original aren’t I–an intergalactic battle of epic proportions ignited, pitting mother against father or in this case da da dommm brother against sister. The battle for superhero supremeness was in full swing.

In his navy blue hooded bathrobe, the Most High Obi-won’t-you-be-sad-when-my-Batman-smokes-your-stupid-Bratz stood fearless with his blue light saber in hand. The master jedi was prepared to wage war. His oppononent the Supreme Princess-my-Bratz-can-too-beat-your-stupid-Batman sat calmly on her pink and green throne chair, poised to attack at any moment.

Eyes glared. Mouths snarled. The air was tense and the trash-talking was da da dommm shocking! And in one swift fail swoop move, Round 1 of the Superhero saga went to I bet you thought I was gonna tell you, didn’t you? Well, read on…

Obi: So, Princess you think your Bratz is better than my Batman do you? I’ll fix that with one wave of my hand. waves hand

Pri: uh, was that supposed to actually do something? Or does that mean you give up?

Obi: ha! Not a chance. My powers are too strong for you. Batman is better than Bratz, say it. waves hand again

Pri: hmm, i think…nope, he’s not

Obi: waves both hands Batman is bett-

Pri: yawns Not even close

Obi: switches on his light saber and points it at the Princess How about now?!

Pri: smiles and turns to her drawer; rifles through it and pulls something out. You have til the count of 2 before I throw this at you…one

Obi: laughs mockingly Is that your weapon? A shirt?!? continues to laugh

Pri: it’s my bra…two she pulls her hand back

Obi: panicked and disgusted, he drops his light saber and flees from the princess eeeeyyyaaaaa he’s screaming like a girl Momm–meeeeeee

In that way the victor was decided: Princess-my-bra-trumps-light-saber-any-day was free to reign over BratzBarbie Galaxy.

Disclaimer: this story is absolutely fictional. Any similiarities between these characters and those in real life who might possibly have names like Malcolm or Sariah are strictly COINCIDENTAL. wink, wink. No really. No such event has ever taken place in my home or any galaxy for that matter which is why the names in this story have been changed to protect the guilty the innocent. And another thing, there are plenty of 12-year-old boys who scream like girls…so there’s no shame. But since this story is ficitional, just disregard that last sentence.

Thanks for visiting,

 Selena